Satirical powerhouse The Onion will release “Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile” on October 2, a 20-minute mockumentary that blends true-crime tropes with biting political commentary on the financier’s controversial death and high-profile connections. The film, described by creators as half-biopic and half-satire, will debut for a one-day exclusive engagement in theaters across New York City, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Minneapolis before transitioning to an online release.
Filling the Information Void with “Complete Nonsense”
The project emerged from a rapid six-week production cycle, triggered by what Onion CEO Ben Collins describes as Donald Trump’s “dodgy” responses to questions regarding Epstein during the summer. Collins noted a significant vacuum in the public record where definitive facts should exist, leading the editorial team to “fill it with complete fucking nonsense” as a form of social commentary.
The mockumentary opens with a provocative sequence featuring a fabricated voicemail from Epstein to Donald Trump. In the clip, a voice actor portraying Epstein heavily implies that the former president orchestrated his demise. “I just wanted to remind you that we’re best friends, and tomorrow I’m going to tell the whole world that you’re a pedophile, just like me,” the actor states over drone footage of Manhattan and the private island associated with Epstein’s sex-trafficking operations. “Unless, of course, something bad happens to me tonight.”
Parodying the True-Crime Industrial Complex
Jeffrey Epstein: Bad Pedophile aggressively lampoons the clichés of modern investigative documentaries. The film features “talking head” experts asking absurd questions such as, “Was Jeffrey his first name, or was Epstein his last name?” and introduces a priest credited as a “pedophile expert.”
The satire extends to Epstein’s associates, portraying him as an “all-American molester” who allegedly recruited Ghislaine Maxwell through a classified advertisement seeking a “gross pervert assistant.” The narrative takes a sharp turn during a fictionalized 2025 Department of Justice interview where officials ask Maxwell to help “cover up some of Donald Trump’s crimes,” a direct nod to the real-world redacted transcripts released by the Justice Department last month.
Fact-Flecked Satire and High-Profile Allegations
While the film leans into the absurd, it anchors its sharpest critiques in established controversies. The mockumentary references Epstein’s documented relationships with powerful figures, including Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton, while maintaining a layer of “allegedlies” for comedic and legal effect. It also tackles the “government-sanctioned assassination” conspiracy theories, specifically mocking the “over 34,689,652 minutes” of missing surveillance footage—a reference to the actual camera failure at the Metropolitan Correctional Center on the night of Epstein’s death in 2019.
The Struggle for Independent Distribution
The release of the mockumentary faced immediate hurdles. According to Collins, a major theater chain originally scheduled for a national launch withdrew from the agreement following the death of right-wing activist Charlie Kirk, forcing The Onion to pivot to independent venues. Collins views this friction as symptomatic of a broader cultural anxiety regarding political figures.
“If you see Jeffrey Epstein’s name and your immediate thought process is, ‘Oh, this might offend the president,’ that’s not the problem of people making a joke,” Collins stated. “It’s the problem of a broken and insanely failing society.”
Despite Donald Trump’s campaign promises to release the “Epstein files,” the former president has recently labeled the situation a “Democrat Epstein Hoax” after reports surfaced that his name appeared in the documents. As the legal and political fallout continues, The Onion maintains its commitment to addressing subjects that traditional media outlets may find too volatile. “In the last year, we’ve been able to say a lot of stuff that other places are afraid to say,” Collins concluded. “We’re going to keep doing it.”
